It wasn't until I reached thirty that I suddenly realised that I did want children after all. My husband Mike already  had  a son and a daughter , (Mark & Paula), from his first marriage but we decided it would be nice to have a child of our own as well.

In March 1998 I came off the pill and to my surprise I fell pregnant the next month. We were both thrilled to bits. At my doctors the pregnancy test was confirmed but my doctor said to me " Don't go gobbing it off to everyone that you are pregnant because most women have a miscarriage first time."  Since then |I've made a point of avoiding that particular doctor. A scan was booked when I was ten weeks pregnant. Unfortunately the scan showed that the pregnancy had stopped at six weeks. We were devastated because we never thought for one moment that we would lose our baby.The next day I had to go into hospital to have a D & C because I'd had what was known as a missed miscarriage. I remember that day so clearly especially coming home and crying constantly. We got married one month later and began trying for another baby.

Febuary 1999 positive pregnancy test ! At seven weeks I started to bleed and  at hospital the scan showed the pregnancy was in my left fallopian tube. I was admitted into hospital straight away. Our baby and my fallopian tube were removed while I was under general anesthetic. By now we were both feeling pretty low but we still wanted to keep trying for a baby.

Eleven months past still no pregnancy .I was sent to hospital for an  x ray which showed my right fallopian tube  was blocked. We were then referred on for IVF treatment. After months of trying and thousands of pounds later we were told that our frozen embryo's could not be implanted because I had a problem with my uterus lining.

December 2000 we were having a rest from our treatment because in January I was going to have a uterus biopsy taken to try to find out the possible cause of my problem. I missed my period in December and had to do a pregnancy test because I couldn't have the biopsy  taken in case I was pregnant. 4 0'Clock in the morning on the 28th December  I had a positive pregnancy test later confirmed by a blood test. In January I started to bleed but this time the scan showed the fetal heart beating. The rest of the pregnancy seemed to go alright although I was very tired in the first three months,  infact I slept most of the time!

We went away for two weeks in April to Devon and Cornwall . It was while I was away that I noticed the baby was more active and I was getting quite a lot of stabbing  twinges some were painful at times. On 14th May I had an appointment with my midwife I mentioned my twinges and she put them down to my uterus stretching and dummy contractions. On the 15th of May at 11.30pm  I got up from the armchair, where I had been watching  a film with my husband,  and felt something come away down below. I quickly went upstairs to the bathroom pulled up my dress and screamed to my husband to get me to hospital . I was bleeding and I believe I had placental loss as well . Within 15 minutes my husband had driven us from our house to A & E. From there I was taken to the delivery unit at the Rosie Maternity Hospital, Cambridge.

Much of my labour was a blur I was so petrified of losing our baby.  I think I was in shock because I remember shaking uncontrollably and finding it hard to breath. I remember being told that cesarian delivery was the best chance for our baby's survival because vaginal birth could distress and badly bruise our baby. Our baby had other idea's  though because before I knew where I was I just couldn't stop the urge to push. I gave birth to our son Lee Michael Slatter on Thursday 17th May at 12-45am. At just 24 week's gestation he weighed 1lb 10oz. My husband  had never seen anything like it because Lee was born breech and he was still inside the fetal sac. Also the doctor had to really pull Lee hard to get his head out. He was so tiny later my mum said "He looked like a tiny bird that had fallen from the nest . " I just cried because I felt so guilty about having given birth so early. Lee was taken away from us in an incubator.I managed to get a quick glimpse of him but had to wait five hour's to see him again. He was taken across to the Neo-natal unit next toSarah Ward . I remember the first time seeing Lee in the intensive care unit. There were  lots of machines, monitors, tubes and wires.  Underneath a cling film cover lay our tiny son. I wanted to hold him but couldn't because he was so frail.

In the first 48 hour's of Lee's life we were told that he wasn't going to make it though the night. My husband and I sat with him talking  to him telling him to keep going because we loved him so much and didn't want to lose him .To the consultants surprise  Lee picked up a bit but he was still very critical.  Infact it was touch and go for along time.

Frustration got the better of me after a few days because I felt so useless. Stella (one of the neo natal team), came to my room to see how I was and I burst out into tears. I told her how I felt and that I didn't feel like a mum at all. Somehow Stella gave me moral boost after handing me a breast pump telling me our son needed my milk. She told me I was a mum and no matter what happened I always would be.Stella is a very gifted lady, she has the ability to pick you up and give you hope. She told me that I should try to  forget about all of Lee's monitors and tube's because all they were doing was what my womb would have done if I had still been carrying Lee.  I am eternally grateful to stella.

We let a few people see Lee at first but due to him having infection after infection we stopped all visitors apart from Paula, Mark and the Grandparents who were allowed to visit on weekends only. Lee became very sensitive to noise and being touched and would get very distressed. Lee was ventilated for a long time because he was born so early his lung's hadn't matured.  He developed BPD (chronic lung disease). We had to give our consent to a course of steroids because Lee needed extra help and without them he may not have pulled through .We had lots of ups and downs, the whole three and half months  was an emotional roller coaster.

All the Nurse's, Consultants, Registrars and SHO'S constantly asked if we were alright. They explained everything to us .They really cared about the babies and their parents.

My husband's most memorable experience on the NICU was when Lee reached up and grabbed his finger. Mine was when I first held Lee I didn't think I would stop crying. I'd waited 3 long weeks since he was born .

In early August we were asked by one of the community nurse's how we felt about having Lee home on oxygen because it would be sometime before he could cope without it . At first we had our doubts and were very nervous but we decided to do it.Lee came home on 6th September weighing 7lb 2oz. He is still on oxygen now but is being gradually weaned off. His current weight is 10lb 1oz and he's looking gorgeous. He truly is our little miracle !!!

We can not thank all on the NICU enough for what they have done for our son. There isn't a day go by without me thinking about it all and how lucky we are . At the time it was like our worst nightmare but now we can put it down to experience.We knew that Lee's chance of survival was pretty low but we never gave up hope.

God bless to all the other parent's and their premature babies. You are in our thoughts and in our prayers. Be strong for your babies they are all true miracles and need all the love and support from you. They do know who you are so don't be afraid to talk, sing or read to them.